Halloween Unknowns....

I started thinking back tonight of all the costumes we've bought that had to be the "perfect" one, for both my children and I. If I didn't think it was the one they should have, I would always try and talk them out of it. I would gently make swaying remarks about the one I wanted, and just as if I was a secret fairy, they always gave in.

Oh, there were costumes that were skeletons, jail birds, pirates, power rangers, on and on. It was always something that was recognizable by almost anyone. I have always frowned upon costumes where people would ask the child,"And who are you?"

Halloween unknowns...like anyone knew the child with messed up hair and torn tee shirt was supposed to be a punk rocker. (We just thought he was wearing his everyday attire.) Or, even better, the adults that come to the door with BABY BAGS. One would almost think they were telling you to get a diaper, free for the taking. Only to realize they were there, just like a child, in a forty year old body, wanting candy.

I know that everyone can't afford the $50.00 costumes. My Lord, put on a wig, paint your face, and grab a broom, witch. If you are an adult and want candy, wait until your tiny goblin returns to the car. Grab a handful! Here's to the Halloween Unknowns, like it's your fault. Shame on your mama for not thinking out of the box!

My FAVORITE costume of all time (bought for my youngest child who thinks he's now too old to Trick or Treat), was purchased from a Dirt Cheap store here is South Alabama, for around $2.00 (brand new). It was a gorilla suit, complete with shaved behind and everything. He may hate me when he's 20, but at least he was never a HALLOWEEN UNKNOWN!

My oldest child as a skeleton and my
youngest as a gorilla (several moons ago)!

Steal My Identity? How 'Bout I GIVE It To You?

Well, today was a crazy day in the south. I like to call my bank's 800 number to check and see what checks have cleared, etc. As of this morning, our account is part of an identity scam.

For the last 3 months, I've been noticing a $12.00 withdrawal. Since I don't do debit cards or credit cards, I thought it was strange. Now, here we are in the fourth month and when I couldn't find the amount assigned to any check, it got me to wondering. I finally called the bank to see what this was.

Apparently, the TLG Great Fun Company, is a sneaky one. I have no idea who, what or how this company got my information. I called them and no one could figure out how they were taking money out of our account, i.e. "a billing error."I have received no membership card, packet in the mail, nothing. At least send me a tee shirt if you are going to take my money.

According to a lot of other people and the Better Business Bureau, we aren't the only one's being scammed by this company. PissedConsumer.com lists other people that have had the same problem.

If you want my identity that bad,PLEASE take it! However, you must take all the bills, bill collector calls, and small paycheck that comes along with being me. (Might I add: it's a good thing you only took $11.99 a month. Otherwise, your withdrawal would've bounced!)

Twelve dollars a month may not seem like a lot to people that have all they could ever want. However, to a middle class working family, living in the country, raising two children, it's quite a bit. $48.00 could buy school lunches for one of my kids a whole month. It could also buy a new sweater, groceries or pay for GAS!

If you believe you are being taken advantage of, like we were, please contact the Better Business Bureau and the State's Attorney General. I have done both. TLG, my prayer for you: May mosquitoes bite you where you can't scratch, and may the force of the Better Business Bureau be with you!

Don't Eat the Magic (Disney Research Tip #3)

Hey folks. This post is an effort to continue my series on Disney World Research. I bought a book, actually several, but one in particular is very helpful. Disney on a Dime, purchased on Amazon, is right up my alley. It is the building blocks for a Disney trip, without breaking the bank. After all, it's about enjoyment, not coming home to payments for a year. So, today we are going to talk about eats.

There are over 100 places to eat in Disney World. They pay themselves well. If you let yourself get carried away with the "magic," as far as money is concerned, you will wake up to find you have magically maxed out a credit card, or spent gas money.

The good thing about Disney World is that you CAN bring your own food, drinks, snacks, etc. If you choose to bring in a cooler, you can rent a locker for about $5 bucks. Keep your cooler there until you need it.

DW used to not be so nice. When my parents took me as a child, there were no coolers, outside food....Everything had to be purchased from the inside. This is not so these days, thank the Lord.

With that being said, even if you don't want a sandwich and chips for a meal, at the very least take snacks (such as chips, granola bars, or fruit) and several drinks or juices. You will save about $10.00 per day PER PERSON, if you do.

That may not seem like much, but if you have 3 people going for 3 days, then you are saving $90.00. If you choose to take outside food in for meals, you are looking at @ $20.00 per person in savings, per day. Yep, you heard it right.

~Don't eat the magic, just feel it!~

My Big Trashy ...Redneck Wedding

CMT is hosting My Big Redneck Wedding. Oh, this is a gem. There's a BIG difference between country/redneck and TRASHY. Just because you are country does not mean you have to be trashy. (Yes, I'm being judgmental and I know God is pointing His finger at me right now.) One can be anything and do it with dignity. Don't believe me? Look at Monica Lewinsky.

Well, I watched this till I cried last night. It would do your heart and humor a bit of good to take a look at the link. CMT has playbacks of full episodes right on their website. WARNING: You may need a tissue to wipe your eyes, or some toilet paper to wipe your.....(you get the idea).

Just take 10 minutes to sit and watch these distasteful weddings, which I would be totally embarrassed to even attend! You will see trashy to the tenth power.

Below are some highlights from last nights episode:

• bobbing for pigs' feet
• hot dog eating contest (at the reception), to which the lucky winner received $40.00
• Maw maw takes her teeth out and sits them on the table to participate in the hot dog eating contest (this was the kicker)
  
• Newly weds ride off in a limo, no wait, it was a GO CART
• The wedding cake was cut with the finest china they owned, i.e. the hand saw

No, it's not country living, it's TRASHY living, on the most important day of their lives...~ the first, second or third time~

For Sale: Comforter With Hair

I have done quite a bit of shopping on ebay. It's easy, convenient, and not too expensive. I can find some really good deals there from the comfort of home, without having to travel to the nearest big city, 60 miles away.

Since we are in the process of remodeling our home, I was looking for a good "bed in the bag" comforter set. I usually look once a day at the products, the pricing, etc. If I see something that catches my eye, I'll look closer.

So, there I was looking at all the king size bed in the bag deals and found a beautiful set. I clicked on the picture for more details. It was a used comforter that was returned to a wholesale/resale company. In the description on faults/flaws of the product, there was a statement which said it was a return item and there was hair on it.

If you shop on ebay, make sure you read the description WELL.

~Don't think I'll be buying that one~

A Board on the Behind and a Tear in the Eye

Tuesday was an awful day. Before the day even got started good, I got a call from the school. My oldest son, now 10, wanted to show out and back talk the teacher. In my mind, for just an instant, I was my mother and he was me. I could only think how I was bringing home the fruit of my childhood.

I got to the school, to find the teacher really aggravated with this child. As a teacher myself, I KNOW the frustration someone else's child can cause. As she was speaking, the can of "whoop tail" was opening up more and more. It finally got to the point that I told her I would take him with me for several minutes and bring him back.

He knew the wrath that was about to follow. Into the principal's office I went, got the paddle and gave MY OWN CHILD the first corporal punishment I have ever administered at school. It was a weird feeling, but I knew I had accomplished what I went there for.

Administrators still paddle in the south, to this day. Why did they have to call me? I'm so glad they did, but in hindsight, I just wonder what kept them from paddling him? Anyway, he finished out the day without a smart mouth, and happily completed his work.

Yes, folks, corporal punishment still works.

Boy Scouts and Castor Oil

Last night, we had our scouts meeting. The leader was sitting around the adult table with us, talking during snack time. As we talked, the subject moved from a toddy for a cold, to Castor Oil.

Many young readers may not know what Castor Oil is, but late 30's and older, do. Castor Oil is medicine that works the same as an enema. (Ex -Lax is it's baby brother, compared to strength.) Old folks believed in this stuff. It cured everything from a stomach ache to bad behavior, especially bad behavior.

Our leader goes on to say he loves the stuff. We stare in awe at this man. He goes on to tell us that he LOVES it so much, that he drinks it daily. Is this man outta his mind? He reveals that he really loves Castor Oil on his biscuits. WHAT? I can't even put the two together...Biscuits are made for syrup, NOT Castor Oil!

Finally, it strikes him. He meant Karo syrup. Whew....what a close one. Good thing he figured it out before cooking breakfast at a camp meet. Those little fellas would have had some kind of behavior adjustments!

Happy Fall Yau'll

They say that absence makes the heart grow fonder. This is even true with weather. Here in South Alabama, we wind up having 2 seasons: summer and winter. There's not much in between. You're either HOT or COLD. I am happy to report that Fall has found it's way here this year, right after the love bugs.

Goodbye love bugs, hello cool nights, turning leaves, and pumpkins....ah, welcome fall. What the heck took you so long?

One Generation Away

Do you realize that we are one generation away from losing many of the beliefs and views passed on to us? We are. Here in the south, beliefs, values and views are a very special thing. We hold them dear to our heart. If they are so dear, then why are we not passing them on to our own children?

Many parents my age swear that they will do things different than their own parents did and we are. However, in return, the crime rate is going up, drug use is on the rise, and children just aren't happy. Now, I'm not pointing fingers. In essence, I'm "preaching to the choir," because I, myself, am just as guilty as the next Joe.

The preacher once said that it would only take one generation of parents not bringing their children to church, before Christianity is lost in that family. He's got a point. It will also take one generation of not sharing the morals, old wives tales, or just simple family truths for all of this to be gone forever. Kinda sad, really.

So where do we start to bridge the gap between what we were taught and teaching it to our children? I think it's in the simple moments that we can share these truths. Whether it's telling your child not to sweep under your feet for fear you'll never marry again (ha) or that stealing change out of your purse is wrong, we owe it to our children. Yes, we do.

I watched a clip on YouTube from the World's Strictest Parents. (Guess where they were from?Alabama, what a coincidence.) Naomi and Ross were two troubled teens who came into the Garnett home for some tender love and discipline. In the clip, Mr. Garnett spoke of one truth that I believe is one of the most powerful statements a parent can make. I can't quote it verbatim, but he mentioned that we choose who will raise our kids: either we do it or the world will. That was a very moving statement, one that will stick with me, like gum on my shoe.

I think it all comes down to taking the time to share a few simple truths of family, love and values. We may be one generation away from losing our beliefs, but at the same time, we are also one generation away from sharing them.

Disney World Research Tip #2- Tickets

This is the second entry of a series on Disney World Research. We are planning a trip from December 26-31, 2008. In all actuality, we will most likely spend 2-3 days in Disney World. We are driving from home, so about 3 days will be spent traveling there and back. Today, I have looked at various ticket options for DW.

Just what all kinds of tickets are there? This can be very overwhelming. It's kind of like Forest Gump and shrimp...Shrimp Soup, Shrimp Kabobs, Fried Shrimp. Boiled Shrimp.... The first step in choosing WHATEVER tickets you are spending a month's salary on (HA...not really), is to realize some basic choices.

• Base Tickets
• Park Hopper Tickets
• Water Park and More
• Premium Tickets

WHAT are these? It's like speaking French, which most southerners don't do. So, here is a breakdown.

Base Tickets- You go to ONE park, spend the whole day in that park and no other one for that day.

Park Hopper Tickets- You can go to any of the four major parks, all in one day if you want...you HOP around

Water Park and More- Basically stay in the water park- (Not ideal for December)

Premium Tickets- Park Hopper Ticket + Water Park and More

After learning all the options, I think we will stick with the Base Tickets, going to one park each day. Now, why did I choose this? I DID NOT choose this because I'm a spend thrift, I promise. I looked at Rides/Attractions /Sites in each park and here's the breakdown in chart form:

With each major park having more than 25 rides/attractions, we will not be able to do more than one in a day. For example, if we chose Animal Kingdom and Downtown Disney for 1 day, then there are over 60 rides. We just can't get to 60 rides/attractions in one day.

I think it's best to see one major park per day. That way, you have time for crowds, stopping for a bathroom/lunch/rest break, shopping, pictures, whatever.

TIP #2: Visit ONE Disney Park at a time...You'll get more out of it!

Obama and the Flag

I am a McCain/Palin supporter and have been all along. I find it very disturbing that someone will not salute the very flag of the country he wishes to lead. However, with all harshness aside, I'll spare my comments.

I received this email just several days ago.

The following is a narrative taken from Sunday Morning's televised 'Meet The Press' and the author is employed by none other than the Washington Post!! Yeah......the Washington Post of New York and Los Angeles Times!!

From Sunday's Televised 'Meet the Press' Senator Obama was asked about his stance on the American Flag.

Obama Explains National Anthem Stance

Sun, 07 Sept. 2008 11:48:04 EST, General Bill Ginn' USAF (ret.) asked Obama to explain why he doesn't follow protocol when the National Anthem is played.

The General also stated to the Senator that according to the United States Code, Title 36, Chapter 10, Sec. 171... During rendition of the national anthem when the flag is displayed, all present except those in uniform are expected to stand at attention facing the flag with the right hand over the heart. At the very least, 'Stand and Face It'

Senator Obama live on Sunday states, 'As I've said about the flag pin, I don't want to be perceived as taking sides, Obama said. 'There are a lot of people in the world to whom the American flag is a symbol of oppression and the anthem itself conveys a war-like message. You know, the bombs bursting in air and all.

It should be swapped for something less parochial and less bellicose. I like the song 'I'd Like To Teach the World To Sing.' If that were our anthem, then I might salute it. We should consider to reinvent our National Anthem as well as to redesign our Flag to better offer our enemies hope and love. It's my intention, if elected, to disarm America to the level of acceptance to our Middle East Brethren. If we as a Nation of warring people, should conduct ourselves as the nations of Islam, whereas peace prevails. Perhaps a state or period of mutual concord between our governments.

When I become President, I will seek a pact or agreement to end hostilities between those who have been at war or in a state of enmity, and a freedom from disquieting oppressive thoughts. We as a Nation have placed upon the nations of Islam an unfair injustice.

My wife disrespects the Flag for many personal reasons. Together she and I have attended several flag burning ceremonies in the past, many years ago. She has her views and I have mine. Of course now, I have found myself about to become the President of the United States and I have put aside my hatred.

I will use my power to bring CHANGE to this Nation, and offer the people a new path of hope. My wife and I look forward to becoming our Country's First Family. Indeed, CHANGE is about to overwhelm the United States of America.

Yes, ladies and gentlemen, you heard it right. This could possibly be our next President.


I, for one, am speechless.

Dale Lindsborg,
Washington Post

Remember Folks, Fidel Castro wanted change for Cuba-
That's how he became a DICTATOR!

Walmart Hoveround

So there I was, shopping at Walmart, Saturday evening. (What's better than that in a small town?) I'm getting my items, looking at some socks and pjs for my son. I hear the beep, beep of the backing sound, which lets us shoppers know there is someone in a motorized cart backing up. It continues ON AND ON AND ON...My Lord, will it EVER end? Is this person shopping BACKWARDS?

I turn around from the socks, and there is a little girl, 8 or 9, having herself a time on this machine. At first glance, I REALLY thought she may have needed the device to shop. After further observation, I figured out she was having herself a ball. Mom was using this as a babysitter while she shopped.

To add to my aggravation, I had to move for the little girl 3 or 4 different times. She was not able to maneuver the machine around the displays and would often have to get out and move it around manually. To make it even more difficult, she puts little brother on the cart with her. Jesus, does this mom have ANY sense?

I would have been embarrassed to the core had one of my children performed this stunt and they never would have made it past the front counter. After I got finished, my child would have never WANTED to go near the Hovearound again.

Do people not get embarrassed from ignorance anymore? Watch your own children in Walmart and make them behave, or don't take them in. Leave them with grandma, neighbor, someone....

There is nothing wrong with one of these machines if you truly need it. Many people just can't walk around big stores for various reasons. However, if you get one of these out just to have it, for your kids, whatever, you are making it extremely difficult and aggravating to shop. You will get talked about, either on the front porch, over the phone, somewhere...

Disney World Research Tip #1

Well, my boys are old enough to actually REMEMBER Disney World this year, so we are going. We have been talking about a Disney vacation since LAST Christmas. I have put off doing extensive research because it gives me a headache. With our trip only 2 months away (December 26-31), I think it's finally time I start doing a little research and just stomach all the millions of pings when I type Disney World in the Google box.

Now, just a little side note. I am a tight wad on motels, eats,and other minor details while on vacation. I see no need in spending $200.00 a night, when you can get a clean, decent room for $70. Furthermore, I see no need in eating caviar. We have to remember the PURPOSE. We are traveling to a destination to explore, see new sights, make memories. I'm quite sure we won't remotely remember the motel room or what we ate for lunch the second day we are there...unless it's a campground and sardines...HA!

Anyway, I think with the first bit of research, it is MUCH cheaper to spend the night OFF Disney World grounds, than on. If you are planning on visiting Disney World, you can find affordable, wallet friendly motel/hotel rates at NexTag.


Come along with me on this research journey for the place where a kid can be a kid....Wait! No, that's Chuck E. Cheese...Anyway, we're off on an Economical Disney Research Project.

TIP 1: FIND A MOTEL ACCOMMODATION OFF OF DISNEY GROUNDS.

Mountain Dew Belongs On Cans

We've all seen the green Mountain Dew car with green tinted windows and green rims, spinning as we sit at a red light. Even better, the John Deere logo on fingers and toes, for the weekly mani/pedi.


I stumbled upon a site, quite by accident, awhile back: Hot Ghetto Mess You will see everything from a groom wearing a train as long as the bride's, to fingernails longer than the whole darn arm. How could you possibly thrive, working with nails like those?

Editor of the site, Jam Donaldson, states,"I have been called everything but a child of God for creating this site and that’s cool." She goes on to say, "My creations only represent the conflicted emotions I often have as a black woman who loves her community dearly. And from the feedback I’ve gotten over the last four years, I am not alone in this sentiment."

This is a website worth checking out. I promise you won't be disappointed and will get a laugh for the day. Whether white, black, red or yellow, Hot Ghetto Mess is an attempt to make people realize the error of their ways...because Mountain Dew belongs on cans!

Just a little footnote: Hot Ghetto Mess is not an X rated website, but does have adult content. (You'd probably not want the kids sitting next to you while checking it out.)

Sit a Spell

Being from the south, we spend a great deal of time on front porches. Whether our own or someone else's, juicy gossip, good and bad news has rang into our ears. Many a heartfelt conversation between friends, lovers, parents, and grandparents, has spilled over on a front porch.Thus, Thoughts From the Front Porch has a purpose.


The most meaningful conversations I have ever shared occurred right on my grandmother, my Nanny's, front porch. These "talks" still simmer in my soul, like the vapor from fresh brewed coffee. Although I don't get to sit on my Nanny's front porch and talk to her anymore, front porch conversation will live within me, till I die.

Welcome to my front porch. I'm glad you're here. Sit a spell and let's talk.

About Me

I am married to my best friend (who needs enemies?) and we have two children, both boys. We have lived in the deep south all of our lives.

I received a Bachelor of Science in Early Childhood/ Elementary Education. I have taught both first and fifth grade, with fifth being my ABSOLUTE favorite. (Jack of all trades, master of none.)


Southern traditions and values are close to my heart. I am currently a stay at home mom, just as my mom was, and LOVING it.


Not much spare time to work with, but when I have it, I like to watch Forensic Files, 48 Hours, and 20/20. College Football is a way of life in this house...ROLL TIDE! I am actively involved in my church, a deep rooted southern baptist church. (Save the back pew for me!)

I love to gossip, cuss, sleep, and laugh. When you mix those together, you get one heck of a Sunday morning service on my pew.